Red Clay and Glitter: Tales of a Southern Mama

True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.

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Sunday, September 13, 2020

Cool

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 (2011) Life with a 13 year old son:  On my way home this evening, I called Bran to remind him to get his homework and chores done.  Typical...

Halloween

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 (2011) Saturday, I made the mistake of shopping early for Lily's Halloween costume online and she ended up picking out a sweet kitty ca...
Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Beard

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 (2015) Lily just said, "Mom, remember in the old, old, old times when everyone had to wear a beard?  Well Daddy must have looked HORRI...

Meds

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 This would be why I don’t take cold or allergy medicine before bedtime. Last night I dreamed that we had a pet lion in our backyard that ha...
Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Directions

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 You know you’re in the South when the focal point for all spoken directions of the day starts with, “Well first take a right at the cheese ...

Fruit Loops

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 (2013) Dylan was trying to entice Lily to come upstairs to play this morning.  When she wouldn't come, he made a trail of her favorite ...
Friday, September 4, 2020

Illegal

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 Dear Middle School teachers,  Please excuse my daughter if she was extremely sleepy in your classes today. Apparently she stayed up half th...
Thursday, September 3, 2020

Rainbow

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A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolo...
Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Rap

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Failed parenting lesson of the evening ... I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wre...
Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Grocery Store

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 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and cam...

Felony

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 Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear a...

Jaguar

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 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What a...

Sabin

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This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ... Bran (age 15):  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play fo...

Phone

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 You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get you...

Brown

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 I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeline...
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